$QUAD: The Great and Powerful/Issue 6
A month after the initial attack on the HQ by the pimps, $QUAD has a new base. They have recently been training Dom in the ways of $QUAD. ‘’Now repeat after me, Dom. ‘’PUSSY BOI DON’T WANT WAR’’!’’ Derk said. ‘’...’’ Dom said. ‘’ok’’ Bloxx says, from the hallway. Derk walks in and sees Bloxx training Dom. “Making any progress, nigga?” Derk asks. “No, Dom’s being a faggot, but at least we got him to remember who we are.” Bloxx replies. “....” Dom says. “wot” Derk says confused. “I dunno, but let’s continue with the training.” Bloxx said. He gave Dom a dildo instead of a AK with the words “im a fag n u noe et.” imprinted on it. Instead of pointing it to shoot Dom shoves it in his mouth and then up his anal canal. “hawt.” Derk and Bloxx both say. Bloxx pulls Derk aside into the hallway and looks at his nigga. ‘’We know she’s comin’ nigga.’’ Derk said. ‘’Yes, dis is wot we talkin’ bout nigga.’’ Bloxx replied. ‘’What R (lil boi) we talkin’ bout?’’ Derk asks. ‘’We need to summon CK, nigga!’’ Bloxx exclaims. ‘’NIGGA NO! Why not summon Kenny?’’ Derk says, surprised. ‘’He in da spirit world, he can’t cum =Bloxx admits. Derk sighs and looks out dere badass window with little $QUAD birds fingerpainted onto them. ‘’Aight, we summon CK but we don’t try to control hem.’’ Derk says with a tone of finality. Derk and Bloxx go into a hall under the new $QUAD HQ and put what seems to be a magic ball on a pillow that has a penis imprinted on it. “What do we do now?” Derk asks. “Idk, lemme look at the handbook.” Bloxx replies “A hand book? Nigga r u crazi, only fags use handbooks we don’t play by da rulez.” “o, k.” Bloxx and Derk look at the magic mirror not knowing what to do so they just say: summon CK and he appears right in front of them. ‘’Wow you niggas think you can summon me, well I’mma pummel thee.’’ CK says in his rapping voice that no one understands. ‘’wot’’ Bloxx says. ‘’Derk here, CK. I, uh, we need your help. These bitch niggas tryin’ to kill us and we need yo help.’’ ‘’Lil bitches tryin’ to get stitches!’’ CK says. ‘’Iz he gunna b rappin da whole tiem?’’ Bloxx asks. Derk punches Bloxx, making him cry, Derk turns back to CK. ‘’So will yah help uz?’’ Derk asks “ Niggas tryi-’’ CK starts to say when he is shot with a fag bullet, stunning CK where he stands. Bloxx is holding the gun the fag bullet is coming from as it continues to smoke. ‘’CK, u eitha help us or u die and we take yo force. Eitha way, we gettin’ yo powah.’’ Bloxx says. ‘’WHAT THE FUCK U DOIN NIGGA?’’ Derk screams. “Look, i luv dis nigga but he be actin’ retarded n we need forcs 2 fite of katy.” Bloxx says in a derpy tone. “Why do you sound like that?” Derk asks. “I smokd sum dert den wead nao da efects r cummin op.” Bloxx replies. “o, kden.” Derk says. “Damn nigga, you didn’t have to shoot me, I was just fuckin’ with y’all.” Chief Keef says. “k, is you gonna help us or not?” Derk asks. “Sure, why not, I ain’t got nothing better to do.” CK replies “u wana be in $QUAD?” Bloxx asks. “wots dat.” CK says. “It’s a sexy rich gang that me and this nigga are in.” Derk replies. “oh. k sure. but i aint gonna actualli B dere cuz i got bitches 2 fuk n shit but u can have sum mah powa, dat k?” CK replies ‘’dats k’’ Bloxx says. ‘’Dats RELLY k.’’ Derk adds. The two take the bullet out of CK and $QUAD and CK merge energies, making both stronger. Bloxx and Derk cheer and head upstairs to see their niggas lookin’ for dem. “Where were you two, I was cooking up dinner for everyone and I couldn’t find you.” Kaley asks while holding a tray of hamburgers. “Don’t you cook anything but hamburgers, woman?” Bloxx says as he slaps Kaley with his BBC. ‘’Anywho, we got CK’s powa now.’’ Derk said. ‘’Derk, we still gotta train.’’ Riley says. ‘’That’s right.’’ Bloxx admits. “Why do I have to tell you this shit? You and Derk are the leaders, yet a “minor” member has to give you orders.” Riley says angrily. “WOAH WOAH, RILEY RELAX.” Derk says. “I am you assmonkey.” Riley replies. ~Riley Heligo’s book has been closed by DarkShadow667.~ “k @breaking the fourth wall.” Ghostette says. “I’m still here you faggot, you only kicked me from another chat, this is reality.” Riley replies. “o, k.” Derk says. “Can we just train Dom?!” Kaley asks annoyed. “Shut up woman, but ye.” Bloxx replies ‘’...’’ Dom says. ‘’Dom, let’s go to da trainin’ room.’’ $QUAD goes down to the training room to practice his skills. ‘’Who wants to spar with Dom?’’ Derk asks. ‘’ME! I can’t wait to beat up the scum that is MAN.’’ Hippo says. In the sparring room, Dom starts ‘’...’’’ing when Hippo punches at him. Dom kicks Hippo in between da legs so hard that Hippo throws up. ‘’SHIIIIIIIIT. Dats mah honie ;)’’ Ghostette says. “...” Dom says seductively catching Ghostette’s wink, but right after he does so Hippo cuts off his peepee because it is a tool of destruction. “STUPID MEN! AND YOUR STUPID WEAPON!” Hippo says aggressively. ‘’YO WHAT THE FUCK HOMIE!’’ Bloxx screams. Hippo starts typing a victory message on Tumblr about castration. Dom angered by what happened and how he no longer has his peepee and nutsack, he finally gets a line in this series. “$QUAD!” Dom says as he glows with a golden aura and rushes Hippo and beating him to a pulp. “HALP GET THIS MAN OFF OF ME, HE’S BEATING ME WITHOUT HIS CUCUMBER!” Hippo screamed in agony as he was being beaten. ‘’$QUAD GOLD OFF!’’ Derk screams and Dom goes back to normal. ‘’...’’ Dom says, remorsefully. Derk and Ghastette take Hippo to the $QUAD infirmary mumbling ‘’Fuck men.’’ under his breath. ‘’Shiet nigga.’’ Bloxx says to himself. “I need to cook, the stove is getting cold and when it does the oven gets scared.” Kaley says. “um...ok” Bloxx replies Kaley leaves the sparring room and goes into the kitchen cooking. While cooking Kaley looks at a sexy picture of Derk and 4daplot it is revealed she has feelings for Derk. Dom is taken into the office later by Derk and Bloxx. ‘’Nigga, you lost your cool out there.’’ Bloxx said. ‘If we’re gonna survive dis thing, we gotta do it together. As a team. You gotta control yo self.’’ “...” Dom says. “Good, you better understand, because if you don’t it may cost $QUAD their whole life.” Derk replies. “...” Dom says while nodding. “Good, now get the fuck outta here.” Bloxx says. Dom gets up out of the chair, and leaves the office to tend to his own business. ‘’How did he tap into $QUAD force by himself?’’ Bloxx asks. ‘’I dunno, nigga. I dunno. He must be some sort of powerhouse.’’ Derk replies. There’s a loud crash heard from the center of the base. Derk and Bloxx run out to see what’s happening. It’s Katie. ‘’I’m back, bitches. Show me what you got.’’ Katie says before fluxuating in pimp power. Katie hits Bloxx against the wall and starts choking Derk. Katie is hit from behind with a soda can thrown against her head. Hippo threw it. ‘’LEAVE KATIE, DON’T LET THE MEN HURT YO-’’ Hippo attempts to say but is thrown into the air and when he lands back down, she tears his arm off. ‘’HIPPA NO!’’ Derk screams. Derk and Bloxx shoot Katie with their AKs until they run out of ammo. As soon as Derk and Bloxx run out of ammo they pull out a grenade that they had in their Nike Air Force 1s and throw it towards Katie. She is blown up and disappears in the dust. “Did we- did we win?” Derk asks. “I thin-” Bloxx is interrupted by a quick grab to the throat from Katie as she rushes up into the sky still holding Bloxx in a chokehold. “Hey Bloxxy, afraid of heights?” Katie asks while laughing as she starts to bring Bloxx down at her maximum speed. A golden aura starts to form around Bloxx and confuses Katie as he breaks free from the hold and headbutts her in tet and then SHOVES HIS FOOT IN THE VAG. Knocking her back down to the floor. ‘’That...that all ya got?’’ Katie says, getting up. ‘’No, it’s not.’’ Derk says, and standing behind him is no one else other than the full $QUAD. ‘’$QUAD!’’ they all say at one and they get they’re Gold suits, newly infused with CK’s power as Bloxx punches Katie square in the jaw. Hippo, now fully healed blasts at Katie after getting himself to believe that Katie was an anti-feminist. ‘’Bich’’ Kaley says before pouring hot soup into Katie’s eyes. ‘’u r00d slut’’ Bloxx says before punching Katie’s throat. ‘’U gunna die now.’’ Derk says, pointing a $QUAD energy gun at Katie. ‘’Hahahahaha. No.’’ Katie says. In a split second, Katie takes Derk’s energy gun and shot Bloxx, injuring him. ‘’BLUXX!’’ Derk cries. Hippo lunges at Katie but she tears his other arm off and flies out of the HQ with his no armed body. Katie throws Hippo off of a waterfall that led into the vast ocean. When she comes back, Derk is crying. She’s ambushed by Riley and Kaley when she comes back but it didn’t affect Katie at all. She takes them and knocks them both out, un-golding them. ‘’I sense..a sudden urge of power...’’ Katie says. Dom uses his $QUAD power to fly into Katie. He’s tapping into raw $QUAD power as he does this. Katie’s undefeated yet again and flings him back into the HQ through a wall. ‘’I’ll come back for you, Dommy. You have something I want.’’ Katie says. She approaches Dark, still holding Bloxx. ‘’Let me in.’’ ‘’What?’’ Dark asks. ‘’Let me in $QUAD. I’m more powerful than all of you, just look at what I did here.” Katie says. ‘’No.’’ ‘’What.’’ Katie asks. ‘’I’m not letting you in $QUAD, Katie.’’ All of a sudden, all of the $QUAD energies goes into Derk, giving him a badass suit of armor. ‘’$QUAD.’’ ‘’WAIT, DERK, PLEASE, N-’’ Katie starts. Derk punches through Katie’s stomach and dissolves the pimp force. He yanks his fist out of her body and throws her body to the nearest hospital. She was gonna be in a coma for the rest of her life, anyway. ‘’Rise, $QUADdies.’’ Dark says, and he heals all of his members. Except Hippo. Who he could feel had TRULY died. ‘’Did we win?’’ Bloxx asked, looking down at his bloody shirt but has no wound. ‘’Yes. But Hippo died.’’ Dark said. Everyone’s respective $QUAD force goes back into their bodies and they’re all exhausted.The next day, $QUAD holds a funeral for their fallen comrade. They all share words. ‘’I know that he wasn’t always the..sanest or most logical member of $QUAD but he was a nigga, y’know? We could have all survived but she killed him. It should have been me =[‘’ Bloxx says before walking away. ‘’.......’’ Dom says. ‘’T-Thank you for those words, Dom.’’ Derk says. “I’d like to say a few words for our fallen member. Hippo and I were niggas even if he was a feminist and we did have our differences, but he knew how to $QUAD just like me, and Bloxx, the founders. He was a hell of a Hippo, and I’ll miss that nigga. rest in peas hippa, rest in peas. Derk says in a saddened tone throwing a rose down in the coffin. “RIP Hippa, I made you good sandwiches =[“ Kaley says throwing a sandwich on his coffin. Riley walks up. ‘’Hello. I for one think it’s pointless to give Hippo a coffin but ok. He was a gud nigga. I ued to think he was creepy. Hell, he WAS creepy. But he still a nigga.’’ Riley throws a fragment of Hippo’s $QUAD suit that got torn off. The fragment had the $ in $QUAD on it. ONE MONTH LATER. ‘’Are you sure she doesn’t have any family to call?’’ a doctor asks. ‘’She’s British and we’re too lazy to pay for a long distance call.’’ a tranny nurse remarks. ‘’tiem 2 pull da plug’’ the doctor-that-was-probably-not-really-a-doctor said. When the Doctor entered the room, Katie’s eyes flashed open with a flicker of gold, $QUAD, energy. [[Category:$QUAD: The Great and Powerful] Category:Bloxx Category:Hippo Category:Dark Category:Kaley Category:Riley Category:Dom